Forays into social media

I do have a Twitter account, with possibly one active follower, so I'm not sure that counts as social media, and an Instagram account, which is of course, photos. Other than that, I try to avoid as many social interactions as possible. With social media like Facebook, I find people talk without consequences, and forget that although it's a computer screen, common courtesy should still be employed. After removing the app from my phone and not logging on for a few months, my panic attacks started reducing. As soon as I logged on, instant panic attack, so I deleted the entire account. Possibly not the healthiest way to deal with things, but until I move to a different pond, it's the best way to avoid living in a constant state of anxiety.

The point of mentioning all that was to lead into what I've been up to the last week - talking to strangers. The whole Interpals thing was daunting to start off with, and the people I've come across have done nothing to improve my general view of people. So, enjoy some of the enjoyable conversations I've had in the last few days.

Apparently, the several different areas on my profile that clearly stated my total disinterest in any romantic areas were too obtuse for this guy. This is the entire conversation. No introductions necessary, obviously.

Then we have this person who, after exchanging greetings, asked for my Skype, which I explained I was uncomfortable with after such a short time. Surprisingly, that was taken very personally.

This guy simply could not get over my glasses

This man, after asking me if I had ever fasted, asked me if I were Muslim or Christian, then proceeded with the following delightful uneducated outburst, which I woke up to the next morning. Excellent start to the day.

The best is definitely this guy, whom I spoke to for one day before the first bizarre hissy fit. The "ok then" at 10:35 was me, editing error with the black cover. Before this, the conversation was normal, no idea where the pulling teeth routine came from. Except that I bruised his poor, fragile ego by simply disagreeing with him.

After this, he thought it would be a good time to ask me my impression of him, and if I thought we could be friends. I cannot even begin to comprehend the logic behind that. After me either not replying or giving one word answers, we had the following conversation:

("Really?")

He then blocked me. Cue disbelieving cackling. Absolute illogical head case.

Hope you enjoyed. Feel free to share any of your odd-stranger stories!

8 through 10

Have made an indefinite stop in Struggle Town.

On Sunday, I volunteered at the cinema. Got to watch The Fault In Our Stars finally, it was a lovely movie. Did provoke some musings which I have yet to express clearly. Got recognised as "the cool Marvel fan", which made me smile.

Monday marked the return of TAFE (tertiary education) and I managed to finish the project I'd been working on. 

I also started something I've been putting off for a long time due to anxiety, which was joining a "penpal" site, as a way to meet like-minded people. There really aren't any people in this town I have enough in common with to actually maintain a friendship, but the stigma surrounding penpals and internet friends has put me off. Also, any form of communication I'm not sure about is really confronting so I tend to avoid it if possible, and get really anxious just thinking about it. Simply asking a stranger on Tumblr for a suggestion was a huge deal, let alone following up on it, joining a site and responding to people. 

Today, in general, did not go well. Spent most of it in bed unable to convince my body to let me get up. Managed to get up and dressed around 3, turned it into a sort of productive day toward the end. Unfortunately, the amount of things going on that make the anxiety flare up means that the smallest things are now setting me off and making it a permanent state. Churning stomach, high heart rate, difficulty breathing, pain in the legs, that sort of stuff. 

Sorry. This is a really boring post.

Day 6 & 7

Been having one of those days where literally everything goes wrong. Starting with my morning oats failing (quite miserably), and continuing with everything throughout the day. Vacuum cleaners sticky taped together, burnt forearms, broken bags...absolutely joyous day.

So yesterday's (and most days, to be honest) cheer was brought by my favourite Youtuber, Louis Cole. The opening song always has an instant calming effect, and the carwash scene in this vlog is hilarious. If you aren't already subscribed, it's well worth it.

With all the mishaps throughout today, it's been rather difficult, although I have been trying. Countless deep breaths taken. To substitute, here are some photos taken of Felix yesterday.

Days 4 & 5

Day 4 was all about reading, something I grew up loving but have struggled with the last few years. Attention span can no longer last longer than 15 minutes so I'm pretty happy at managing to actually finish a book (The Hunger Games, so easy reading but still)

Day 5 began with a migraine severe enough to infiltrate my dreams. That was lovely. Woke up vomiting and spent the rest of the day like that so didn't really have much cause to smile. Also smiling is kind of painful during migraines. I'm going to put today's smile as another material one as I was naughty and spent another $14 on lipsticks. 

Day 3: Birds

Today's smile was provided by playtime with Lolli the rainbow lorikeet. I was trying to read, but he was very insistent. Lots of silly behaviour. Rolling around, wrestling, general fluffiness. Didn't get a photo because I didn't have any free hands, so instead here are some photos I took a few weeks back when an entire flock of about 20 king parrots chilled out on the deck for a bit. 

If you need a smile, watch some happy birds. Guaranteed to bring light into any day

x

Almost-Roadtrip and Retail Therapy

A spontaneous trip to the neighbouring town. Love the scenery there, especially in winter. It was quite windy, but an enjoyable walk, not long enough!

I've been trying to get my hands on one of the Chapstick All Things Sweet lipkits and finally got one. It's super cute, and the flavours are great, but if I'm honest...the Cake Batter scent was more chemical than baking.

Going to Priceline is always a risk. Shiny displays. All the pretty packaging. Managed to not spend too much money. I've seen so many people raving about foundation sponges, the Natio one was $5 so I'm giving that a go. From what I can tell, it is literally a shaped sponge which makes me giggle. Couldn't resist some Savvy and Models Prefer eyeliners - shiny!

Also got a Rimmel (half price, I mean...) nude lipstick, and an Essence one, which looks bright red but is actually a lovely almost sheer berry colour.

A good day. Won't spend too much time thinking about how long the bank account can stretch now...ha!

A Quick Who What Why

Hi there.
Alex here. I'm not going to say too much here, just a short explanation of what the Project Okay thing is. I've struggled with depression and anxiety for most of my life, with medication and therapy both failing to help. This obviously has led to a fairly underwhelming experience with life in general, a path I'm determined not to continue down. So this is the start of a different path. Every day I'm going to be finding something that makes me smile, something that provides a little optimism. These will be documented here, for me, and for anyone it may help in some way.
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